Tips for Shy Girls

Whenever I tell people that I'm an introvert, nobody ever believes me! But I promise, I am! My official personality type from 16 Personalities (a Myers-Briggs based test) is ISTJ-T. Introverted, observant, thinking, judging, and turbulent. (LOL - sounds aggressive, but other ISTJ's include Denzel Washington, Natalie Portman, and Hermione!!)

I definitely consider myself to be an outgoing introvert, and in a field where my career is based of my public speaking ability it is SO important not to shy away from people like I want to most of the time!

Throughout the years I've learned a few tips and tricks to make me seem more outgoing and extroverted than I am! And then, when everything is all said and done, my bed is there to welcome me home!

Fake it 'til you make it // The biggest lesson I have learned over the years is that if people think you are extroverted, the more extroverted you will feel. So when I really have to be extroverted, I force myself to smile bigger, laugh more, comment on more things, and people naturally just think that I'm more outgoing and extroverted!

Comment on things // We all have opinions. I've learned that just simply stating my opinions sometimes can start conversations and lead to friendships. I found this especially helpful my freshman year, and I still use it in classes to this day! Even commenting, "Wow I'm bad at accounting," can lead to the person sitting next to you agreeing, and asking if you want to study. (That sounds like something a "high school girl" magazine would say, but that is a personal anecdote!)

Learn to laugh at yourself // This goes hand in hand with embracing your natural awkwardness. Introverted and shy people act differently around people than extroverted people do. Conversation doesn't flow as easily, and sometimes awkward things slip out! The key to all of this is just laughing at yourself and your mistakes! Another quick anecdote, but my college campus has an insane amount of uneven bricks and I trip over them pretty much anytime I walk anywhere. This leads to me saying, "OMG Tori, watch out!" and then laughing at myself because I'm walking around campus talking out loud to myself. Super awkward, but the key is that I can laugh at my own mistakes and not beat myself up over them!

Reward "good" behavior // After a long hard day of talking to people and being "on" constantly... the only thing I want is my BED!! (And Grey's Anatomy and a glass (or bottle) of wine.) And that is A-OKAY!! Exerting enough energy to get through the day can be hard! But you did it, and just like the other amazing things you do, you should be rewarded!

Are you shy? How do you get through your days?


  1. Nice one. I also like to think of myself as an introverted extrovert.

  2. This is great!! I love all of these, but definitely #1. Pushing yourself to do it will make it happen more naturally over time.

    Sara Kate Styling

  3. OMG Me too!! I always say I am a gregarious introvert! But when I leave, I will be out of commission in bed for hours recharging! These are great tips about getting over some of the anxieties that come with it too!

    Rachel |

  4. I am super introverted, but also find that forcing myself to get out there and engage actually sparks the part of me that loves meeting and connecting with people.

  5. Awh this is really cute! love it (:

  6. These are great tips! I think I'm definitely an introverted extrovert. I love the idea of rewarding yourself. That's something I definitely practice.


  7. I am super shy by nature, these are great tips. I am trying to get out of my comfort zone as of late!

  8. I've always been shy growing up and I definitely agree with these tips! I've had my fair share of awkward moments and just laughing it off makes everything better!

  9. I'm the same way! After a long day or social gathering I want to be alone with my wine and netflix. Great post!

    Greta |

  10. I totally understand what you mean by saying that you're an introverted extrovert. I feel the opposite about myself, I'm a shy extrovert. These are great tips! My favorite tip is to always remind myself that whatever situation I'm in is (usually) temporary, so if I have to push myself to get through a situation, I remember it's only temporary.

  11. Love these tips! After a ton of interaction I like to drive in silence, and I LOVE it!!

  12. Fake it til you make it! So true! sometimes you just have to do it until you get your bearings! I wrote a post about that a few weeks back!

  13. I love this post! I'm an INFJ and I completely know what you mean about being an outgoing introvert, I have my moments. haha xx Merisa | Monogrammed Magnolias

  14. I love this so much!! Fake it til you make it is the best tip. I definitely need to work on it more

  15. I'm also in that weird category of extroverted introvert. Definitely more on the introvert side, but I definitely try to "fake it until I make it" a lot! Still haven't made it, but I keep trying, haha!


  16. I LOVE this post!! My Myers Briggs says I'm ENFJ, but I definitely identify as an introvert. I need time to myself to recharge. One of the most difficult things for me is when I travel alone for work, because I really have to push myself out of my comfort zone to get the most out of the experience. I am big on tip number four!

    XO, SS || Seersucker Sass

  17. Hi! I am so glad I (very randomly) found your blog. Your writing is inspiring and you just seem like a very happy and lovely girl, but also honest and fragile. I look forward to keep following you!

    And me..? Well, I sort of relate to many of the things that you write about: I am doing a BA in Creative Writing and am now in UK for exchange. Love reading, love traveling, love people, love culture. And I also run a blog... in Norwegian, unfortunately. But check out my photos if you want to:

    Have a fabulous week!

    Xoxo Ingvild

  18. Such great tips! Thanks for sharing!

    Lauren Elizabeth
    Petite in Pearls


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